


He Doesn’t Do Happy

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Dean finds himself in a relationship that works. He just doesn’t do happy.





	He Doesn’t Do Happy

****He Doesn’t Do Happy  
** **

After eight months, you finally say something to Dean. You are surprised when he kisses you. You are even more surprised when he picks you up and carries you to bed. You’ve been in love him for years, but you never thought this would actually happen.

 

“Dean,” you whisper in the dark. “I’m happy.” He’s holding you close, stroking your hair, kissing the top of your head. “I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.”

 

“Happy?” He shifts so he can look into your eyes. “Why?

 

“I’ve wanted this. I’ve thought about this.” You kiss him softly. “Being here, with you, makes me happy.”

 

Dean smiles softly at you. He strokes your cheek. “I’ve wanted this too. I don’t want this to be a one time thing or a random night here and there. I just need you to understand something. I don’t do happy, (Y/N). I care for you, but happy just don’t happen for me.”

 

You feel a pang in your chest but you nod. You love this man and you’ll take what he will give. “I understand.” It doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Just don’t expect it from him.

 

Things change between the two of you. Dean’s openly affectionate. He wraps his arms around you. He holds your hand. He kisses you. Dean makes sure that you’re sitting next to him whenever possible. Dean respects you. He protects you. You want to believe he loves you.

 

Dean Winchester doesn’t do happy though.

 

You try and do little things for him. You pick him up his favorite pies. You do his laundry to save him time. You try and cook different recipes you’ve heard him say he likes. Dean’s appreciation, his smile and the way he says thank you, always make you beam.

 

“I was thinking maybe we could take a weekend and go somewhere.” You tell him last one night. “I know hunters don’t get vacations, but I would love a couple of days alone with you.”

 

Dean smiles. “There’s a cabin a few hours away. Bobby and Rufus use to use it when they were hunting. We’ve kept it functional. It’s on a lake…”

 

“Ooh!” you look at him. “That sounds great!”

 

He pushes pieces of your hair out of your face. “Darlin, this….this is good.”

 

“Are you happy?” You dare to ask.

 

His eyes cloud over for a moment and he sighs. “I don’t do happy, (Y/N/N). What we got is great.”

 

The cabin is exactly what you and Dean need. It’s quiet, hidden, and you see Dean truly relax and have fun. You take long walks together, spend the nights making love in front of the fire, and talking about the future.

 

You rest your head on his shoulder as he drives back to the bunker. You want to believe in your heart that he’s happy. You know he has to be. The way he looks at you, smiles at you, holds you….Dean has to be happy.

 

A few days later, your world is turned upside down.

 

It’s been three months. The three most amazing months of your life. You wake early and go to the store. You’re going to surprise him with breakfast in bed. You plan to pack a picnic dinner, a cooler full of beer, and have a moonlit picture under the stars that night.

 

When you return, you hear Dean in the kitchen. He’s arguing with Sam.

 

“Don’t tell me what I need to say or do, Sam!”

 

“She’s happy, Dean! She loves you!”

 

“I know. I care for her too.”

 

“Do you love her?!” Sam asks. “Dean, are you happy? Have you let yourself have this?”

 

You wait with baited breath. Maybe Dean will tell Sam how he feels….

 

“I can’t love her, Sam. If I let myself love her, I’ll let myself have happiness. I don’t do happy. We both know that doesn’t work.”

 

“(Y/N) is different! She lives this life! She knows this life! (Y/N/N) gets it.”

 

Dean knows this. “That’s what makes her right, Sam. She’s exactly the woman I want in my life.”

 

“So be happy!”

 

“Every time I try to be happy, something goes wrong!”

 

Sam takes a deep breath. “Do you trust her?”

 

“With my life.”

 

“Do you love her, Dean? Don’t bullshit me. Do you love (Y/N)?”

 

Dean’s quiet for a few minutes and you set the bags down just outside the kitchen down and go back to your room. You don’t want to know. You don’t need to know.

 

Dean doesn’t do happy. He told you that. He was honest about that. You, unfortunately, have wanted to be happy your whole life. You found happiness for the first time in the bunker. You found happiness being taken into the dysfunctional family the Winchesters created with Cas, Crowley, even Rowena. You found happiness being with the man you love.

 

That man doesn’t do happy.

 

You sit on your bed, trying to decide your next move. You want to stay, but you think you should go. Your brain tells you to run, fast and far. Your heart says to stay, give yourself time to adjust to what will be a new normal, and go back to how things were before.

 

“(Y/N).” Dean’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “We heard you put the bags down…”

 

“I heard you when I walked up and I put the bags down and left. I’m sorry…”

“How much did you hear?” He sits next to you. Dean pulls you into his lap.

 

“Enough.” You try and move. “Dean?”

 

“I love you.” He whispers. “I…I want to let myself have this but I’m scared.”

 

“So am I.” You tell him. “Love isn’t suppose to be straightforward. It gets messy. People who say otherwise have never been in love.”

 

“I don’t do happy because happy is an illusion that’s been yanked out from under me my whole damn life. You deserve better.”

 

“I’ll decide that.” You tell him. “It just sucks. I need to know you feel something. I mean, I know you appreciate me, but I need to know that you’re at least okay with things I do.”

 

“Wouldn’t I tell you if I wasn’t?” Dean smiles at you.

 

You laugh. You know he would. “Dean, I just…”

 

“I guess I should have been telling you that I don’t know how to do happy. I’m learning.” He leans in and kisses you softly. “Can you just give me time?”

 

“If you want to be happy, it has to start with you, Dean.” You tell me. “I can do things all day and all night that make you happy, but you’ve got to let yourself be open to the idea.”

 

“I can do that.” He tells you.

 

“By the way,” You kiss him again. “I love you. I’m happy.”

 

“I’m glad.” Dean’s smile grows. “I’m happy you’re happy.”

 

“See,” You touch his cheeks. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

 

“Hopefully it’ll get easier, Sweetheart.” He tells you. “There’s a few things I think could make us both really happy later on but I got some work to do before that happens…”


End file.
